I Live With a Woman

I have made a disturbing discovery. This discovery was groundbreaking. Life-shattering. My world was turned upside down. Right now I'm confused and scared and don't really know what to do. You see, I found out that my roommate is actually a woman. All this time, I thought he was a so-called "manly man." The problem is, I'm locked into my lease, and so is he/she. I could use your prayers.

It all began Saturday night. The Third Annual Girls Slumber Party was taking place next door. Some of the guys decided they would dress up like women and crash the party. Kind of sick, but mildly funny. I wasn't really worried about my roomie at that point, though. I just thought it was a silly little prank.

Move ahead to Sunday night. This is when my suspicions were aroused. He put the skirt back on. Not only that, he was trying it on in different ways; as a normal skirt, as a tube top, as saggy pants. I was becoming a confused young man. So I locked him outside in his skirt. I guess he wasn't ready to go public with his secret, because he freaked out.

All doubts were removed today. I thought it would be funny to put on my Spooky Sounds CD. We didn't get through the first track before he began to get creeped out. By track two he was lying in his bed under his sheets. So, naturally, I went outside and banged on his window. The ensuing scream could NOT have come from a man's lips.

I love you Junk.