A Man of War

Wild at Heart

I've been meaning to write about this for a while. Over two months, in fact. Actually, I can't even believe it's been that long, but I just checked the windows calendar (you know, like double-click on the clock on the bottom right) and it's been over two months.

After considering all the facts, I think that this story would be best told in the third person.

Ryan had Advertising Media over in Gaylord Hall, on the southeast corner of the South Oval. Beautiful building, by the way. And you gotta love all the Macs everywhere in there. He hadn't bought his July campus parking permit yet, so he parked all the way over on Stinson, right by the Catholic church. The quickest way to Gaylord from there is to cut across the parking lot he would have liked to park in anyway, the one that the Huff lies right in the middle of.

Ryan was walking across the aforementioned parking lot, which is very open and empty. Really the only break in the monotony of asphalt with white lines are the small islands with tiny, thin, leafless trees planted on them. As Ryan passed under one of these spindly little trees, he feels something smack his head very hard. Whatever it was also managed to pull some of his hair out. OUCH.

Ryan looked up in surprise, and stopped in his tracks. He was paralyzed by fear and shock. A bird was circling his head for another attack. The bird dive-bombed and pecked him in the head again. OUCH x2.

Ryan recovered from his shock and began to run (still in fear). The bird took chase. He kept circling above and attacking. OUCH x3 and OUCH x4.

Suddenly the soldier in Ryan came out. He took off his ridonkculously heavy backpack, still running, and began to swing it at the bird, going for a kill. The bird was too quick, however, and continued to attack.

After a fierce battle, with a few feathers flying through the air and more than a little hair pulled out and bumps on the head, Ryan escaped. When he had run all the way to Asp (by the honors dorm) the bird gave up. He knew he had lost. Ryan swaggered the rest of the way to Gaylord, sweaty and hot, but victorious nonetheless.

On a side note, Ryan told three particular individuals this story, none of whom believed a word of it. As said individuals and Ryan drove by the spot later that day, they witnessed a young child being attacked by a bird in the very same spot, while his sister looked on and laughed. I however, was not laughing.